Reminiscing...

Rant, rant, rant,

I remember ranting to three awesome teachers,

Francis, Anna and Richard...

I miss them, those names...

Their faces, their advises,

I'm pretty troubled right now, I feel useless.

No matter how hard I try, I tend to come back being more confused,

I try to please, to understand, to know, but all I get is a reply "I wish you should think more,"

I miss these teacher, because they were there when I felt alone,

There were there when I felt useless, there were there to cheer me on,

These days, I tend to compare myself with other people,

People keep saying they're good, better, smart,

They have interest in them, but when it comes to me...

All I get are complains "can you do better" "if you can't say it in proper sentences, you don't know it,"

I always look at myself as someone who can't be good at something,

People say I may seek attention, that I'm just one of those compliment whores,

I may sound really confusing but this is how I feel.

I got no one to talk to, no one to go to. I feel alone and helpless.

I'm really depressed and I don't know what to do.

Mr. Francis, Sir Richard, Miss Anna, I miss you...

Fan girl

im in love...

with someone unreachable...

he's in S.Korea...

and I'm here...

He speaks in a different language...

I do too..

he's an idol....

im nobody...

hearing him sing..

makes me shiver...

seeing him on the screens...

makes me scream...

i don't think this is love though....

but i do admire him...

he's one of the best idols ever....

i don't think it will ever happen...

just to hang out with him and be friends....

i fell hard....

yes, i did..

but i know im only a fan girl....

who everbody hates...

I'm alive and barely breathing.

Hello there fellow bloggers,

I have been killed and revived so many times...

A lot has happened, and some are still going on..

I could never get them..

THOSE...

people..

They're just to complex to understand.....

My heart, has been dying...

Hurt many times....

I might explode.....

once again and fade into the crowd.....

I never wanted this to happen....

losing people that I treasure...

Seeing them happy in another place is quite...

hurtful.

I always wanted them to stay..

I wanted them to be happy but I'm merely somebody, a nobody at that...

I miss their presence...

Their faces when they smile....

it hurts me to know.....

that now they hate us....

you ask who's us?......

I can't say....

they might search me up.....

and hold my rights against me....

all i could say, or rather write......

is that they are people.....

who don't have a heart......

I miss those people, who abandoned us...

well, truthfully they didn't.....

they didn't have any choice...

i miss the pool, the computer lab, the room....

where everything was okay....

I miss the laughter....

the beat of the drums...

the strums of the guitars....

i miss the tall one, the stout one and the averaged sized men...

they were our soul, our energy within.....

it's almost a year...

to when they had left....

us with the evil.....

people who don't care.....

all i could say is shit...

and let time do its job.....

but i'm alive barely breathing....

with people who don't give a fuck.

So, welcome me back. Finally free from the bonds that is school. Especially THAT school. God, I hate that school. It should burn down and get peed on by dogs and crapped on by cats. I HATE THAT SCHOOL SO MUCH...

..........

Ahem, excuse my language. Aha! It's kinda good to be back to this blog. I've recently made a tumblr account, and I gotta say, it's way too slow and complicated than this. But I still need that blog too, so yeah.

And, I've pretty much got nothing to do. Just watched the video for Alejandro. I understand that it's for the love of her homosexual friends, but for the love of Arceus, it's so graphic. That's why I hate that song. I'm naturally homophobic, so it doesn't surprise me why I hate it. So, yeah. I guess that's it.

Now I'm free from the chains of rust,
Run away, I will, leave behind my dust.
Freedom at it's finest, I taste it so good,
Now return to gaming, my benevolent brotherhood.

Hahaha!

~ Valiance Nocternus ~

Life. is. fucked.

wala na kong ginawang tama. :(

Time

As time pass by, we gain and loose friends. I now realize how important they were and still are. I will miss them, and treasure them from the bottom of my heart. Saying goodbye to people you love isn't that bad. It's simply opening up a new door. But honestly speaking... I didn't want you to leave but if it wans't for that place we wouldn't know each other. So now, I'm saying not goodbye but "until we meet again"

Election Campaign Fever

Character assassination, mudslinging and accusations the name of the f@#%ing game!!!

Haircut

i realized things, that didn't mater to anyone in specific.

a haircut

nothing in specific, but meaningful to people.

a haircut defines a person. tells you what mood you're in and also defines your personality
nobody knows that having a haircut is not just getting one.. sometimes, you feel all loved you want one. you feel depressed you die for a new look just to feel better... i've noticed. people change when they have haircuts.

As of the moment, I am watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Unconditional love, alright.

Then, I saw this in yahoo and I thought of sharing it here:
http://green.yahoo.com/blog/guest_bloggers/26/the-world-s-only-immortal-animal.html

This is the only IMMORTAL animal in the world.

Time is such a funny thing.

Stargirl

Yup, I'm going to talk about a book again.

This is a pretty old book. I last read it 2007 or 2008, and rereading it this weekend. It was published on 2000. This was written by Mr. Jerry Spinelli (I love saying his name). I thought that it was his pen name! But I checked wiki, and it wasn't. He is currently 69 and he lives in the US of A. He also wrote Maniac Magee.

The title of the story is Stargirl as the drawing on the cover suggest. The cover of the book is simple and clever, which, in my opinion, is so much better than overdone.

The story is from the perspective of a sixteen year-old boy named Leo, who "falls in love" with this eccentric girl. Her name is, guess what, Stargirl. But that's not her real name. That is just what she calls herself. Everyone in her new school thought she was strange and weird, but she didn't care. She still did whatever she wanted to do, which was, I guess, trying to make people happy.

The story deals with peer pressure and the troubles of being a teenager and dealing with friends and popularity. It also deals with nonconformism or in simple words, the refusal to follow what is popular or what most people do.

There is a a second book entitled Love, Stargirl. This one is told in the eyes of Stargirl herself.

This story, honestly, made me cry at the ending. It is just so easy to get lost in the story, especially when the characters' age are near mine. The person who inspired me to write this was my English teacher, who asked us about our most memorable character encountered in a story. I answered Stargirl because she was the one who made a huge mark on my brain.

I guess my teacher was right. People like something because they can identify themselves with that something. My teacher made me realize that somehow, I wanted to be like Stargirl. To be the reason why people smile; To hear bad things said behind my back and right in front of my face and still not get affected; To get hurt or disappointed and still find a reason to smile.